As if 2020 isn’t already the most exhausting year in history as it pertains to celebrities inserting themselves into politics and medical science, there’s a new COVID celebrity every day. Who could forget Alyssa Milano’s epic meltdown, alleging hair loss from COVID-19, not menopause, and blasting Trump.
There are so many triggered famous people this year. But what Coloradoans hoped for most was probably that one of our defensive ends, paid $3.5 million dollars per year to play a game, would chime in about politics.
When I woke up this morning, I was definitely wondering not what my president, governor, physician, colleagues, chiropractor, financial advisor, business partners, family, friends, or loved ones had to say about COVID-19 and our country’s criminal justice system. Most of all, I was wondering what Shelby Harris, defensive end for the Broncos, paid $3.5 million this year, had to say. Surely, the sum of his qualifications to speak on such issues is why the media has gobbled up his every word.
Shelby has a lot to say about Kansas City fans’ tailgating last Sunday. He’s been in the woke city of Denver for so long that he apparently forgot about individual rights and liberties. Hey, Shelby, we don’t all make $3.5 million dollars per year while marveling at how awesome the BLM graffiti downtown looks.
“‘This is real. This literally affected me and my family,’” he told CBS4. “‘Like, get over yourselves … Like, let’s be smart, care about your neighbor. Care about your 70-year-old grandparents.’”
Everybody in the entire universe, literally, is now convinced that they need to wear a mask…because Shelby said so. We also hope to hear from our family physicians on how to block an offensive lineman.
Shelby also recently posted about several other political topics. Seeing as how he was suspended from Illinois State football for conduct detrimental to the team, maybe he spent a lot of time enriching his national criminal justice reform ideas and writing deep theses on the criminal justice system.
Shelby also has lots of thoughts about student loans. He’s also well versed in economics…specifically, the impact of economic bail-outs on an economy, national debt, and similar topics are Shelby’s specialties.
On Sunday, Shelby, the ultimate leftist victim, spent his day imagining if “this was Obama. That is all.” The post didn’t get a lot of likes; it makes no sense. Imagine whom is Obama? Is Shelby referring to Trump? Okay, we are imagining Trump is Obama. Now he looks like Obama. What else? Oh, is there supposed to be some racism in this situation? Okay, Shelby.
Shelby also hates Trump because of course he does. In one post, he laments Trump’s “reality star” status. Trump fans are conspiracy theorists.
Isn’t that ironic?
Shelby makes fun of a business man who’s successfully owned companies across the world, negotiated international peace deals, and has overall one million times as much political wherewithal as Shelby. Trump can’t do anything right, but Shelby has all the ideas.
Actually, he doesn’t. Shelby simply posts statuses in which he complains about conservatives, and the media gives him a silver platform. 2020 is so woke.